Episode 7: Limit Enjoyment

Have you ever realized you had to limit your own enjoyments or suffer the consequences? In this episode of Message for My Kids, the host explains to his children some reasons on why limiting activities is a must. .

Why Setting Limits is a Form of Control

Personal limits aren’t about depriving yourself for you wants; they’re about control. Without boundaries, we risk things like regret and harm.

Consider activities like drinking, gaming, or socializing. Without moderation, they can lead to choices we later regret. Whether it's setting a limit on drinks at a social event, limiting screen time, or finances, having personal boundaries ensures responsible enjoyment.

The Role of Self-Limitation in Everyday Life

Even in basic everyday activities, limits matter. A child playing sports might get caught up in the excitement and push too hard, leading to people getting hurt. If someone has too much pizza, they might end up with a stomach ache if they don’t limit their eating.

Building Healthy Habits for the Future

As kids grow older, they gain more independence, whether it's choosing how to spend free time, managing responsibilities, or navigating social settings. Without limiting yourself, it’s easy to get carried away. By practicing self-discipline early on, individuals learn to balance fun with responsibility.

Social events, for example, can be enjoyable yet overwhelming. Find your balance on how late you should stay up or how much money should be spent. Find a way to enjoy things without going overboard.

Finding Enjoyment Within Limits

Some might see self-limitation as restricting joy, but it’s actually the opposite, it allows for sustained enjoyment without negative consequences. Setting strategies for activities you enjoy and knowing you have to limit yourself could save you a lot of trouble.

By embracing personal boundaries, individuals can engage fully in life without feeling overwhelmed or losing control.

Final Thoughts: The Key to Balance

Remember, limits don’t mean missing out, they mean enjoying things in a way that lasts. Life is meant to be lived and enjoyed, but setting boundaries ensures those experiences remain positive. By learning to balance participation with self-control, we create a more fulfilling and regret-free life.

Read the Episode Transcript Below!

Hey guys, welcome back to another episode. Today I want to talk about limiting yourself. I’m not talking about limiting yourself on opportunities, I'm talking about limiting yourself on the stuff that you're participating in. Sometimes when we limit ourselves, we save ourselves from doing things that we regret. We save ourselves from saying stuff that we regret. And when you limit yourself, you end up having more control.

For instance, if you're drinking alcohol and you limit yourself and you take control and say six beers only for tonight because you know that anything past eight beers is gonna make you loopy. And when you drink those eight beers and you're loopy, you may say something or do something that you're going to regret. There's no self-control. You have to learn how to limit yourself on things that you find enjoyable.

I love movies. I love video games. I love spending time with you guys and going shopping. But it has to be a limit. There has to be a limit. If I would be able to spend all the cash in the world and buy all the movies and the video games, I would. And I would categorize them. I would watch them. I would play them with you guys. We would go shopping, buy everything. If I could drink every day and just party it up, I would. But I can't. I cannot do that.

We have our one-hour fun days because we have one-hour fun days Monday through Friday. And I noticed everybody's participating and there's always one of you that always goes up and beyond and does or says something that they regret. And they're like, no offense, but... and they throw like a passive-aggressive behavior, passive-aggressive communication. And it's like, I kind of listen in sometimes. It's kind of my enjoyment. And I'm over here doing my own stuff or I'm working on the side and I hear this and I shake my head in my head. And I'm thinking, why? Why are they saying this? What is triggering one of you to say these types of things? And then you guys start laughing two seconds later on something different. And I get it. I get it. You're overly excited. You're past the limiter.

And when you guys get involved in things, you have to manually limit yourself. I can see pros and cons right away with this stuff. And it sucks because you guys are at a young age where I want you totally involved. Where if I say, hey, you guys should go play outside or you guys can do this or you guys can do this, it's free time. And you guys decide to go play softball, baseball, outside in the yard. I see that you guys are getting involved. And you guys do do that, which is awesome. But when you over-hit that ball and you know you're kind of over-hitting that ball, and then it goes flying to the ditch into the road, but you know you could have like just tapped the ball, still participated, not really like slug the ball. And then you go across the fence, and then you go get the ball in the ditch. If you don't limit yourself, that ball can hit another vehicle. Something bad can happen. And that goes for almost anything you participate in.

I mean, the cons literally is that you're not gonna feel really, really enjoying get yourself to 100% involved. And that's what kind of sucks right now because you guys are a young age. And I'm trying to figure out these things where you guys can get involved, like soccer, the playground, play by the ship that we built, movies, movies with popcorn. And I'm trying to get you guys more involved. But some of the activities, I noticed you guys, some of you, for sure one of you, don't control yourself. And I'm afraid that when you get older, you're going to experience adult activities, going to the bar, going to the football games, baseball game, going to social events, weddings. And there has to be a limit. You have to learn how to limit yourself, but yet still be involved.

Growing up, it was never taught to me I have to limit myself. It was something I had to learn. I had to learn this the hard way. There would be some nights where I literally would be watching movies, playing video games on a weekend stretch. And then the next day, I'd be so tired. There were times where I would be drinking alcohol with my family at social events. And after I reached, like let's say, 12 beers, I was loopy. I was out of it. The next day, I realized that I said things that I should not have said. I'd done things that I should not have done. If I would have limited myself and said six beers is all I'm gonna do, or probably three beers and/or limit myself even more and say no beers. But if I would have drank only three beers, I know that I wouldn't have to live in regret.

So, it's hard. It's hard right now because you guys are teenagers, you guys are kids. I wish I could drop you guys off at the park and be like, I'll be back. See you guys later. And let you guys just like get involved. Because at a park, what are you guys gonna do? You guys gonna fight the poles? You know, what are you gonna do? And it's hard because there's a lot of activities that we do. I want you guys to be involved. I really, really want you guys to be like extremely involved and having fun.

I noticed this is only like an issue for one of you really right now. But if you get older and you're finding yourself getting in trouble when you get involved into activities, I strongly suggest that you limit yourself manually. I think it will save you from embarrassment. I think it will save you from wrong decisions. I think it'll help you get your priorities correct. And I think it will help you enjoy more things.

If I could, I literally would purchase so much stuff from the store. I would go shopping. You guys know me that I like to buy new things. If it's something new, I want to buy it. I want to see if it works. I want to see if we're gonna have fun with it. But I can't do that because I have to limit myself. I have to limit myself. If I did do that, we wouldn't be able to pay mortgage. We wouldn't be able to pay bills. We won’t be able to pay electricity. And then it'll be a negative domino effect. Every Friday, you guys come home. If not, there's a school day or you guys stay home. But either or. Every Friday, I literally want to play video games with you guys. It's so fun. I hear you guys laughing. I hear you guys joking. Some of the stuff you guys say is so silly, but I have to limit myself.

I have to step away. I have to step back. I have to get my priorities correct. And if I do play game, we play a game for like three hours, and then I step away. It's not that I want to say, "Okay, time for bed, go to bed. Okay, let's go. We got to wake up in the morning. Come on, guys." I don't want to.

But it's a limit. We all have to literally limit ourselves. You eat too much cake, your stomach's gonna hurt. You have to limit. I learned. I learned eating pizza, eating pizza. I used to eat till I was full. I'd like pack it in. I would be like, "Man, I want some more crusted cheese, stuffed cheese crust.” I wanted to stuff, stuff. I had to learn.

As long as I taste it, and I ate one or two, I'm good. I am good to go. It sucks because I'm not fully involved in enjoying all that pizza and the grease and the cheese. It sucks in that way. That's the con of this. But the pros is that at least I got to eat it. At least I got to enjoy it.

If you can learn how to do this with almost all the fun activities, I think you'll be more aware of what you're doing. It's hard right now. Like I said, it's hard right now because you're teenagers. And I really want you guys involved. I really do. And I see you guys playing... what was it? It was like soccer. It was like soccer. You guys were playing soccer.

And I saw one of you just like really just rushing and rushing and just plowing the other child over—boom!—and kicking the ball. I see that. And I'm like, "Yeah!" But then I'm like, "Oh, the other child might be hurt." So it sucks because I really want you guys involved. But on the other hand, I think you have to really limit yourself. You have to control yourself.

Energy drinks is another one. My goodness, I go through a lot of energy drinks or used to go through a lot of energy drinks. And then it took me six days to literally recuperate. And I had to learn the hard way. So some of the things, some of the things that you do, might sneak up on you. Finding a limit for yourself before your activity, knowing what you're getting yourself into, I think might help you.

For instance, let's say you're gonna go buy a video game. Limit yourself on video games or that video game, that particular video game. Which day, time you want to play.

And that goes the same thing with social media. If you're gonna be on social media, limit yourself manually. For me, I don't even need—I don't need any settings to tell me how much social media I'm spending. I literally say, "Okay, these are four hours I got to work. These are five hours I got to work. These are seven hours I have to work," and I limit myself.

These are three beers that I'm gonna drink tonight. Sometimes I limit myself to three beers, and I jump to water. It sucks because growing up, I used to drink those 12 packs. I used to drink beyond. And I'd wake up the next day refreshed, but I learned the hard way, guys.

I think there's a lot of pros and cons for this. It really is. And I don't want to sound contradicting. Yes, some of us are gonna learn the hard way. For instance, right now, I'm learning that driving around because of gas prices, I have to limit myself for driving around. I used to be able to put in gas and just drive around, feel the wind, and I enjoyed myself. Now I can't do that. Which is fine because I still get to drive around when we go to the store versus driving around by myself and just thinking.

And if I could leave you guys a message—just participate, have fun, limit yourself, and enjoy it. Enjoy it. I think the quicker you adapt to that type of method, the more you'll learn to have fun with it.

For me, it's hard to adapt to it because I know the extension already. I know the extension. If I go to a casino, I hate taking twenty dollars and saying, "That's all I get to spend," because I know the extension, how it feels, and it's exciting. It's good. Not good. It's not good. Trust me. It's exciting. It feels good. It feels good. But if you learn how to limit yourself now, you won't know how the extension feels, and you'll be better off. And I think you'll adapt to it.

That's my message to you guys. There’s some things that you're gonna probably be doing that you know it’s not good, but it feels good. But it's not good.

I want to throw—I want to say something real quick. I don't want to sound contradicting. I don't want to say, "Don't do this," when I did it. What my message to you is, limit yourself. Have fun and enjoy it. You can still be outside and enjoying the cold weather. Being cold outside is fun. But you don't need to freeze and get sick.

This is another message for my kids.