Episode 12: Mature vs. Immature

Finding the Balance: Maturity vs. Playfulness in Life

What does it really mean to grow up? Does maturity mean leaving behind all the fun parts of life? In this episode of Message for My Kids, the host explores the balance between maturity and playfulness, helping his children and listeners understand that responsibility and joy can coexist.

Understanding Maturity: More Than Just Age

Maturity isn’t just about getting older, it’s about making thoughtful decisions and understanding consequences. However, many people think that being mature means to give up things that bring them happiness, or that you should never act “immature” as an adult. .

• Maturity means responsibility – Keep in mind there are times and places when you should be mature.

• Find joy in hobbies and activities- When you get older, you can still dedicate some of your time to doing things you like, that others could view as “immature hobbies.”

• Maturity is subjective – People have different opinions on what is mature or immature. Different situations and perspectives influence how actions are perceived. Trust your instincts and what feels right for you and your circumstances.

Teaching Kids (and Ourselves) the Right Balance

It’s a good idea to teach kids responsibility while still encouraging fun. The guidance below can help shape children into young adults who understand and navigate different situations appropriately.

• Encourage following the rules – Rules and policies are in place for a reason. It’s usually unwise to be immature in this category by not following rules.

• Support their passions – Don’t encourage children to change their likes to seem more mature.

• Understand balance - You can balance being mature and immature, you don’t have to be one or the other 100% of the time as an adult.

Final Thoughts: Stay True to Yourself

Growing up doesn’t mean you have to give up all your fun. It means finding the right mix of responsibility and joy.

Listen to this episode of Message for My Kids in the player at the top of the page for a more in depth understanding of this episode!!

Or…. you may view the transcript of the episode below!

Welcome back to another episode of Message for My Kids.

Today I want to talk about maturity.

I know this is not just one simple answer.

One simple thing I want to talk to you kids about—a couple of days ago, you did some actions, some actions that were immature.

And I understand you guys are teenagers.

I understand you're young.

Can’t really expect to behave in such mature levels.

And in this episode, I don't want to sound contradicting because there's a balance.

To me, what I'm trying to teach you kids is that there's a balance.

Now, what's the opposite of being mature?

It's immature.

But what defines being immature?

Is it watching cartoons when you're 40 years old?

Is it playing video games when you're 60?

I think being mature and immature is a visual thing.

And what I mean by a visual thing is the image—how people perceive what other people look like.

But then there's another thing where I try to balance out what is through your actions.

So if there's not an adult, you should be the adult.

Given your age, let's say I take off from the house.

I need to take off, and you're home alone.

Is it really mature to go cook anything in the kitchen that you want to cook?

Go into the freezer, get the steaks or the pizzas, and cook anything, especially when you're not told to because we're saving the food for special dinners, special nights, or the weekends.

So what is maturity?

How do you act mature without being immature?

Yet another person's perspective would be it's immature.

It's immaturity compared to their mature.

So today I want to talk to you guys and kind of define what is being mature and what is not because I have a feeling when you guys get older, people are going to look at you guys, and it's going to take a toll on you.

You're going to question it, what is mature and what is not?

Am I doing this right, or am I doing this wrong?

First off, we have rules and policies in the house.

We have rules and policies outside.

For instance, no playing across the fence.

There's a road.

You don't want to be immature and go across the road, just walk around, lay in the road, lay in the driveway, let a car run you over, stuff like that.

That's immaturity.

So I guess first you have to see within rules and policies that you put in place.

Being mature, I want to say it's rules and policies first that you put in place and follow your gut.

Now, you can't expect everything that you do is going to be in the mature section.

I will be honest.

I am going to say I don't see myself not playing video games ever.

I'll be like 95 years old, and I'll still be playing video games.

If they make games that you can move your eyeballs and move the little blocks and then get three balls aligned and then disappear

I can see myself doing that in my deathbed.

Is that being mature, or is that immaturity?

A lot of people are going to tell you it's immature because they don't see it that way.

They don't see it as being mature.

And then a lot of people are going to be like, well, that's each to their own.

And that's what I'm trying to teach you kids.

There are certain things in life that you have to understand, it is immature to do things. Like it is.

You're not going to want to go around breaking people's stuff on purpose.

And if you can prevent breaking it, then don't break it.

But being immature is really based on opinion.

Being mature is based on opinion as well.

What works for you?

What works for your house, your policies, your rules?

Because if you're sitting around the table on a Saturday night and, let's say, you have a cocktail or a martini, is that really mature of you?

Maybe it is, but it's based on your own opinion.

It's based off of your actions.

Let's say that you're in the living room and watching TV, streaming a video, and you stay up till 3 a.m. and the next day, you need to be up at 7.

Ok, so Is that being mature?

A lot of people are going to tell you no.

But let's say that you need to be up in the morning, and you just need to be up so you can purchase an Amazon package for your collection of animated movies.

Now, does that mature level change?

It's really based off of what you perceive to be mature.

It's really based off your character.

There have been plenty and plenty of times where I've been told that I'm immature for my age.

And honestly, I love it.

I personally love it because I don't want to turn into a full mature adult who thinks about what?

Who does what in life?

What are you going to do being mature?

Are you going to change your shows from something that you like to something you don't like?

Are you going to change it from animation to news?

Well, if I'm 40 years old and I'm watching animation versus news, I can almost guarantee that I have a collection of the animation that I can still enjoy, and enjoy with you guys, and enjoy with extended family members.

Then news itself that is going to disappear the next day, if not the next week, if not the next month.

Does anybody remember Bill Clinton and what he did?

More than likely, no, but I'm sure they only remember what he did to Hillary. But that’s it.

Does anybody remember George Bush the first?

I sure don't.

I don't know what the heck he did.

Does anybody remember George Bush Jr.?

Yes, I remember, but I don't remember like what he did.

But I can tell you that I remember the memories that I have with my trading cards in high school, my trading cards in middle school.

I can almost guarantee that the times we all spend together playing video games and doing these "immature" things together, you guys are going to carry on forever.

So my point is, yes, you have to be mature at certain times through actions.

Being an adult when there's no adult, that is key.

That keeps you out of trouble.

That makes you focus and create your character.

But you're not gonna want to intertwine, your not gonna want to mix, you’re not going to want to change the stuff that you find enjoyment out of, mixing it it from immature to maturity.

A lot of people that I know and I’ve talked to, they really have changed what they do.

And they're older.

They're literally 60 years old.

There’s this guy that I was talking to, and all he does is just watch TV.

I'm like, "Dude, bro, don't you do anything else?"

He's like, "Man, what's there to do? There's nothing to do."

I'm like, "Wow, like that's not the way I want to live."

What if he acted immature once in a while when he was younger?

What if he did things considered that were immature and created an outcome for the future, for like a hobby or something to do?

So what's pretty cool, I share things that other people find to be immature, but I share things like entertainment, movies, knowledge, different types of movies.

There's action movies, funny movies. And I categorize them.

This weekend, we're doing military movies. Last weekend, we were supposed to do military movies. Then the weekend before that, we were doing military movies.

So I categorize them, and I know you guys love it because you’re guys are like, "Oh, military, yeah, yeah, that's me, that's you, and that's me." And we pick each other who we are and stuff like that.

So the point is this, kids: if you're doing immature stuff that you enjoy and it's not hurting anybody, and it's not breaking policies or rules that you set in the house, so do it.

Do it out of enjoyment.

If there's a certain collection that you have and you want to collect it, collect them.

And if you like putting puzzle pieces together and you want to start your own empire doing it, go ahead and do it.

You don't have to dismiss what you enjoy in life to try to fit a culture of being a mature adult.

Because I can walk outside, I can go to the store, I can go communicate with somebody and still have a mature communication, a mature level of communication.

And then I'll come home, and you guys will be here, and we can game it.

People say, "That's immature, that's immature."

That's freaking awesome to hear.

That is great and that is grand because I am not losing my childhood.

I am not losing who I am as a person.

And I see other people, sometimes they want to be such an adult that they think they're walking in these invincible walls, and they need to act a certain way and talk a certain way and be a certain way and dress a certain way to be mature.

That's not the case, kids. That's not the case.

Yes, you have to dress a certain way for your job, for your career, for going to school.

You're not going to go to school in swimming gear. I understand that.

But you don't have to sacrifice your fun immaturity, harmless activities for thinking that you have to sacrifice that to be mature.

No, no. I'll tell you. I'll tell you.

I literally watch animated cartoons with Alianna.

I watch it with her. She laughs.

There are even some parts where she doesn’t even laugh, but I laugh on purpose because I think it's funny.

I laugh on purpose because I think it's funny.

And then she enjoys it, and she laughs.

And a day later, she comes to me and she reanimates the action of what happened in the movie.

She does that with me.

And in my brain, I’m like, "How does she remember this?"

Well, she remembers it because she must have really enjoyed it.

But yet if I was being "mature," I would have never been watching the animated movie.

So its like I'll tell you what, I’d rather take my memories and my immaturity for you guys any day, any time.

I don't care, and neither should you.

As long as they’re not harming people, as long as it’s not hurtful, as long as it’s not going against your rules and your policy, it's something great and it's motivating.

And if you don't have anything right now that's immature in your life, seek it, grab it, think about it.

What did you like when you were younger?

What did you like when you were in the store?

Go back to it.

Heck, if there was certain cartoons that you grew up watching, go revisit that.

If there’s video games, if there’s movies, if there is entertainment, if there’s certain toys, go revisit that.

Go relook.

I love you kids.

Yes, being an adult when there’s no adult through actions and not hurting yourself and your character, and anybody else is key.

But don't lose your maturity.

Don't lose your maturity.

Here's another message for my kids.